This weeks letter will be all about remote relationships. Do you think we can have them? Are they as meaningful? Are they harder/ easier? Has the pandemic made you feel differently about them?
I would love to know how you feel about this topic. Reply to this email or comment below.
If you eat carob as a chocolate substitute, it's always going to taste terrible. Remote relationships just aren't the same as in-person ones. They are fundamentally shaped by the qualities of the mediums that mediate them.
But in the hands of a talented gastronomist, I think carob can probably taste marvelous. If we accept and embrace the qualities of these aforementioned mediums, I think many of us can have nourishing and meaningful relationships remotely. I certainly do.
I've been feeling curious about how our communication patterns, whether verbal or non-verbal, might get shaped by platforms such as Zoom in the same way that written communication patterns are shaped by the character limits of Twitter.
My best friend and I have been maintaining a deep and nourishing online friendship for almost 5 years. Pre-pandemic. A few months ago we realized that we both see somatic therapists online. We wondered whether we had inadvertently picked up tools from our therapists for bringing our physical bodies, nervous systems, and somatic experiences into the online relationship. I've found myself more frequently mirroring my friend's movements as we're speaking, touching my heart when I'm touched, taking breaks from our conversation to stretch.
Might we all end up unconsciously building communication conventions that bring more of our somatic experience into our remote relationships?
I think it's a carob/chocolate situation.
If you eat carob as a chocolate substitute, it's always going to taste terrible. Remote relationships just aren't the same as in-person ones. They are fundamentally shaped by the qualities of the mediums that mediate them.
But in the hands of a talented gastronomist, I think carob can probably taste marvelous. If we accept and embrace the qualities of these aforementioned mediums, I think many of us can have nourishing and meaningful relationships remotely. I certainly do.
I've been feeling curious about how our communication patterns, whether verbal or non-verbal, might get shaped by platforms such as Zoom in the same way that written communication patterns are shaped by the character limits of Twitter.
My best friend and I have been maintaining a deep and nourishing online friendship for almost 5 years. Pre-pandemic. A few months ago we realized that we both see somatic therapists online. We wondered whether we had inadvertently picked up tools from our therapists for bringing our physical bodies, nervous systems, and somatic experiences into the online relationship. I've found myself more frequently mirroring my friend's movements as we're speaking, touching my heart when I'm touched, taking breaks from our conversation to stretch.
Might we all end up unconsciously building communication conventions that bring more of our somatic experience into our remote relationships?
I really like how you are thinking about this!
I think some of us will build those communication conventions. I know a lot of people that have.
Thanks for joining in on the conversation!
Hey Samuel! Just wanted you to know that I featured you in this weeks letter.