Control Your Communications So They Don’t Control You
By creating rituals and scheduling
Every moment of every day we are inundated with a deluge of notifications. Your phone, computer, tablet, watch, and a dozen other "smart" devices are alerting you of something. It might be a text, a phone call, an email, a social media app, or that next best deal. While some notifications are valuable, most are noise vying for your attention. Other than turning off your technology or enabling do not disturb, how can we control the incoming stream? By controlling the outgoing stream.
While we cannot always stop people from vying for our attention, we can control the cadence of response, which in turn will control the inbound replies. What is the best way to manage this?
Dedicate Time and Space
Due to the ease of access we have to our technology, we can communicate from anywhere at any time. In the '90s, if you wanted to send an email or hop into an AIM chatroom, you needed to be at your computer. If you wanted to make a call, you needed to find a phone. If you wanted to send correspondence, you needed to go to a post office. Now all of that is in our pockets.
The most effective way to counteract the influx of notifications is to only interact with them on your terms. Set specific times of the day to write and reply to emails, chats, and comments in documents. Better yet, pair that up with specific locations for these actions. Maybe only when at your desk, in a coffee shop, or at your kitchen island. Pairing the two together will allow you to intentionally ignore the noise while dedicating time and attention to it on your terms.
Scheduling
If you cannot dedicate specific times or locations, I recommend scheduling your communications. Nearly every tool or app you use offers the ability to "schedule send". Your email, messaging, and social media can be scheduled. Most of the time, natively, in the default tool.
Some tools you might not have known you can schedule send in:
Email
Messaging apps
Slack/MS Teams
Before you say that you cannot schedule send an iMessage, you are right. But that feature is coming this year with iOS 18. Search "schedule" on the iOS 18 Preview page to learn more.
I recommend scheduling your replies when you expect to respond or right before you check out for the day. This will allow you to account for the person on the other end of the communication, as they will likely reply back immediately.
Communication and connectivity is the lifeblood of our time, but it has become more toxic than useful. So rather than letting it run its course, take control. Sure, it's easier said than done, but it will allow you more space and control over your time and attention.